Man Tells Wife He'll Open Separate Bank Account Amidst Finance Drama

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mattstaff
May 30, 2021 7:00 PM EDT

Marriage brings with it a whole lot of hurdles. You've agreed to share your life with someone, and that oftentimes implies a shared bank account. If there isn't a flow, a mutual understanding between partners over how that money's going to be spend, then a whole lot of drama can end up breaking out. It sounds like this guy's wife is operating on a very different frequency for what she considers to be sound investment opportunities. So, he consulted the moral judges of Reddit's AITA community to see whether or not he'd be in the wrong for choosing to open a separate bank account if her habits don't change. 

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  • 01
    Font - 1 10 AITA for telling my wife I would open a separate account if she didn't get our money back? I 39M have been married to my wife 36F for twelve years. We have no children, but we do have a cat and a dog who we consider to be our children. My wife has a sister "M" 37F who has made very poor financial choices and is now heavily in debt. She refuses to get a job and instead jumps from on MLM or get rich quick scam to the next, sponging off of relatives to make ends meet.
    via u/siltaway
  • 02
    Font - Both me and my wife work full-time. We each have separate accounts that we use for our "fun" money for hobbies or whatever we want. We earn almost the same amount of money, with me being a little higher, so I contribute 60% and she contributes 40% to make things fair and also so we each have about the same amount of "fun money." We also have a joint checking and savings account that we use for the household bills and household emergency fund (like when the water heater flooded the basemen
    via u/siltaway
  • 03
    Font - As I was going through the statements for our joint household account, I noticed that there was approximately $2,000.00 missing from the joint savings account. I noticed that they were all Venmo transfers to her sister. When my wife came home from work I asked what this was about, and she told me that her sister needed money to start her own business. My wife sat me down and explained to me that her sister joined yet another freaking pyramid scheme, this time selling fake nails and makeup
    via u/siltaway
  • 04
    Font - I told my wife that she either needs to get that money back from her sister or I would open a new account for my share of the household expenses and transfer it to that account when it was time to pay bills. My wife is upset with me and does not understand why I am being so unsupportive. I told my wife that not only did she take money and not tell me about it, she invested it into something without even considering how I would feel about it. My SIL called me last night and said that I was
    via u/siltaway
  • 05
    Font - NTA. Had she spent her own fun money, that would be one thing. She can do whatever she wants with that. She can either get that money back from her sister or use her discretionary income to top up the account, but she cannot make unilateral decisions about family funds without your approval. Unless she's cool with you literally setting $2k on fire in front of her because you felt like it. G Reply 1 2.9k 3 •..
    via u/siltaway
  • 06
    Font - purpleglitterkitty · 6h · Partassipant [2] NTA. Your wife took a large sum of money without discussing it with you first. My guess is that if she had told you about this, you would have refused, so she did it behind your back. Being married is a partnership. That means that ALL financial matters need to be agreed upon by both parties, especially when it comes to investing or spending joint funds. G Reply 455 ...
    via u/siltaway
  • 07
    Font - 3 1 Award NTA. You don't secretly take money from a joint account. You ask as it's family money. l'd separate accounts. Your wife is intent on joining a pyramid scheme and will end up losing thousands (statistically this is the most likely outcome of pyramid schemes/MLMs). Protect your assets before that happens. Edit: I would also make it clear to your wife that any money spent on her harebrained pyramid scheme needs to come out of her fun money, not the household bills money. G Reply 1
    via u/siltaway
  • 08
    Font - janewilson90 • 5h • Partassipant [2] NTA But you know you're not getting that money back. Your wife seems to be getting sucked into the MLM void. They are very good at targeting women and encouraging them to cut off the 'haters' who can't/ won't support them in their "girl boss" endeavour. Taking $2000 out of the joint account is not ok. That's a significant amount of money and should be dissussed before being spent. You'll need to tread carefully with your wife though. If she's been suck
    via u/siltaway
  • 09
    Rectangle - ItsOKToSayUrWelcome · 6h · Partassipant [3] NTA, your wife is ridiculously gullible G Reply 1.9k ...
    via u/siltaway
  • 10
    Font - NTA, regardless of what it was for, she should have checked with you before using money from your joint account. That's, well, the whole point of a joint account. She also has her own separate account; why didn't she use it? The fact that it was for a pyramid scheme is a separate but also important issue. I'm surprised that your wife, after seeing her sister fall for so many scams, would suddenly decide to follow her for this one. Has anything significant happened to her recently? Anyway,
    via u/siltaway
  • 11
    Rectangle - Thia-M • 6h · Certified Proctologist [24] Omg. NTA, at all. Taking out that this is an MLM, a spouse shouldn't loan a chunk of money or invest without consulting the other. G Reply 105 ...
    via u/siltaway
  • 12
    Organism - safetythird3 · 6h • Partassipant [3] NTA your wife is falling down a slippery slope. MLMS are cultlike in that they can cause people to become separated from reality and lose relationships with the people who care about them. You have a boundary/respect issue with regard to the money, for sure, but I also think you've got much bigger hurdles ahead if your wife really believes this stuff. 46 3 G Reply ...
    via u/siltaway
  • 13
    Font - StraightJacketRacket · 6h · Partassipant [1] NTA. Support wife's sister in not making poor choices, not financially. G Reply 1 42 3 ...
    via u/siltaway
  • 14
    Font - the_kurgen_rules • 6h NTA, if your wife wants to lend money to her sister then she should use her money not the house money. We all have relatives like your sister in law and know that when you give them money like this, the money is usually considered gone as odds are you won't ever see it again. G Reply 1 24 ...
    via u/siltaway
  • 15
    Smile - i-Ake • 6h · Certified Proctologist [22] NTA. Any sane person should know better than to give away that kind of money without telling their SO. What she did broke a trust between you. G Reply 1 20 +
    via u/siltaway
  • 16
    Rectangle - Old-Strawberry-3246 · 6h NTA your wife had no right to take your savings money and give it to your sister. If she really wants to help her out, she could use her own (fun) money and nothing else. G Reply 1 17 ...
    via u/siltaway
  • 17
    Rectangle - bdswhatever • 5h NTA, this was not your bill to pay and was most definitely not an emergency. If anything she should have used her "fun" money since this was only her choice G Reply 18 3 ...
    via u/siltaway

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marriage FAIL cringe finance relationships ridiculous Reddit dramatic
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